This is the post where I talk about Cancer

Behind every girl's haircut is a story. More often than not, behind every haircut is a heartbreak story.

You know how symbolic it is for a girl to be messing with her crowning glory. When we want to have a big change in our lives, we usually start with either having a bob or the bolder pixie cut.

Why and how I went scissor-happy two years ago is not the "usual" heartbreak story, though. It is a story I don't always want to talk about; a story I have never written about until today. It is the story of the strongest woman I know. :)

It is hard to string along paragraphs when you start an entry with a haircut story when what you actually want to write about is Cancer. Well, at least for me. It IS hard not because, as I said, this is the first time I wrote something about this part of my life but because having to recount that experience is like reliving the moment. Even so, I am writing this to give credence to my claim that my Mama is the strongest woman I will ever know.

What really happened when the doctor broke the news to the family is hazy (either that or I don't want to remember) but if you are a fan of Kailangan Ko'y Ikaw (my Papa is a BIG fan!), it's pretty much like that, from the father talking to his two daughters about their mother's condition, weighing options and probabilities together, Kris apologizing for having cancer like it was her fault, to the whole Dagohoy family hugging and consoling each other. That-AND SO MUCH MORE!!! Again, I don't want to remember it so drawing an analogy with that teleserye is my poor attempt at illustrating it.

During the entire ordeal, I have never seen Mama cry nor complain about her condition. NEVER. She was even the one reassuring us that everything will be alright and that she will fight, "Kay wala pa ko natagbaw ug uban sa inyo." Those encouraging words came from an ailing, pale-nailed, balding woman who, incidentally, has fetish for her hair and nails. Who were we to cry and question God when even Mama never did? Who am I to be frail when, even in the lowest of lows, Mama showed nothing but resilience?

On her third Chemo session, I gave Mama this card: (photo not mine)

I rummaged through her drawers post-Pablo and I couldn't find the exact card but I distinctly remember what I wrote:

"Mama, with or without cancer we still have the best family and with or without cancer, we still have the most beautiful mother."

Two years, six Chemo sessions, countless novenas said and X Tamoxifen boxes later, I could still say the same. If anything, cancer made us realize how precious life is and how important it is to have each other. I will never stop thanking the Lord for letting me into this family.

Now, back to the haircut. Mama and I usually have haircuts together even way back.

So, to prepare for the "change", we went from this: to this: and finally: (tough times during this hairstyle so not much photos)

If there's one thing I regret not doing, it's obeying her, telling me not to go all the way. :-/ We could've really grown our hair long again together.

Mama, it's your birthday once again. :) And I will always remind you of how strong you have always been and how much strength you have given Papa, Pawpaw, Evo and I. We love you so much Mama! You are the best mother and grandmother (sorry for the reminder, HAHA!). You are our superwoman. HAPPY 31st BIRTHDAY MAMA! ;) :P